Ricky Dimon

• The curious case of Simone Bolelli

  2011-04-15 19:05:02
  

  I have been meaning to write this for a while now, but just when you think it can’t get any worse for Simone Bolelli, he delivers another shockingly abhorrent result.

   

  I fear that right after I waste an hour or more of my time on the guy, he will go out and lose to a Spanish Challenger player 6-0, 6-0 on a fast hard court. And then I’ll just have to go right back and writer another blog on him about on how he has done the unthinkable and has become even worse at tennis than he already was.

   

  But I think the time has come and a conclusion has been drawn: either it has finally hit rock bottom for Simone Bolelli, or it never will.

   

  I mean, when is enough enough? When you win only four matches in your last six Challenger events of 2010? When you lose to someone named Marek Semjan in the first round of a Challenger in Bratislava, Slovakia? How about when you lose in the second round of a Challenger to a Lithuanian named Laurynas Grigelis at home in Italy? Or when you win only five total games against Dieter Kindlmann in the opening round of a Challenger, also at home in Italy?
  
  No. That’s not enough. Somehow I just knew Bolelli could still outdo himself. I knew he could come up with an even more special result.

   

  And that’s just what he did last weekend in Monte-Carlo. He lost—in qualifying of course—to Vincent Millot, a Frenchman ranked 159^th in the world who has never won an ATP-level match in seven years on tour and does his best work on HARD courts. And Bolelli did not just lose; he lost 6-1, 6-2 while holding just twice in eight service games. He also won a measly four of 20 points in which he had to toss in a second serve, meaning he basically could not win a point in which a baseline rally took place.
  
  If this is the end for Bolelli (and there’s no reason to think it isn’t), it’s an end that came all too suddenly. Just two years ago, in February of 2009, he peaked a career-high ranking of No. 36 in the world. And he was only 23 years old—presumably in his prime and with nowhere to go but up. The Italian made it to the third round of both the French Open and Wimbledon third rounds in 2008, even taking out Juan Martin Del Potro at Roland Garros.
  
  Shortly after Bolelli advanced two rounds at the 2009 Monte-Carlo Masters, a friend of mine saw him play live in Madrid and had this to say after a loss to Andy Murray:

   

  "I was impressed with his 'no fear' mindset.  He was extremely confident.  The only thing that was somewhat a chink in the armor was his patience...when the rally got past six or seven shots, Murray mostly would prevail.  Other than that the guy is the real deal.  His forehand was absolutely lethal!  I walked out of that match a Bolelli disciple!"
  
  Any such follower Bolelli ever picked up must surely be diving headlong off the bandwagon right now. He has won only four of his 12 matches in 2011 and has not won more than four games in either of his two ATP-level appearances. He has not won an ATP-level match since the STUDENA CROATIA OPEN in July of last year and I’m not sure the STUDENA CROATIA OPEN should even count as an ATP event.

  So what the heck happened?
  
  Clearly there are more than a few screws loose upstairs. And maybe it’s not his fault that there are. His parents named him Simone and his sister is SIMONA, so it’s pretty obvious the guy did not inherit more than a few ounces of a brain.

   

  It IS his fault, though, that the ATP website lists one of his hobbies as “chatting online with friends.” If Murray cost himself a girlfriend by playing too many video games, perhaps Bolelli cost himself his tennis game by spending too much time “chatting online with friends.”

   

  And speaking of WAGs, that’s another problem right there. Bolelli tied the knot with Uruguayan lingerie and swimsuit model Ximena Fleitas on August 5, 2009. Perhaps he first should have taken some mental notes from other pros who had done the same.

   

  Andy Roddick? Almost won Wimbledon after getting married (to supermodel Brooklyn Decker) in April of 2009 but has since lost prior to the semis in six straight Grand Slams and has reached a quarterfinal only once in that span.
  
  Lleyton Hewitt? Got married in July of 2005 (to actress Bec Cartwright) when he was No. 2 in the world. He finished that year No. 4 and ended 2006 at No. 20. Since ’05, the Aussie has not made it past the quarterfinals of a Grand Slam.
  
  Paradorn Srichaphan? He did not even bother playing another match after getting hitched in April of 2007 (to Miss Universe Natalie Glebova).
  
  Marriage and tennis worked out for Roger Federer, but Federer is Federer and none of those are other guys are. And Bolelli DEFINITELY isn’t Federer.
  
  Not surprisingly, Bolelli collapsed immediately after the wedding. He won only four matches the entire rest of the year (two in qualifying) and, starting at the ’09 U.S. Open, embarked on an unreal 15-match losing streak that was finally snapped in March of 2010. He has won EIGHT total ATP matches since getting married.

   

  Bolelli may never be heard from again, but perhaps his story can still be of use for some players and fans. If you’re Ernests Gulbis, or Fernando Verdasco, or a diehard supporter of one of those two….

   

  …Well, at least you know that things could be worse. Things could be A LOT worse.

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